Thursday, October 23, 2008

The Bridesmaid Pledge

I am the only one of my close female friends/family members that has gotten married and had a full-fledged bridal party. I’m ready to be someone else’s bridesmaid now!!

There is a sort of social antagonism surrounding the concept of being a bridesmaid. Why is that? Why can’t the stigma of ugly, poufy, identical dresses and subordination to the bride’s will be left in the past? Why must there be so much drama?

I’m not saying I was the perfect bride, either, and that there was no drama with my wedding party. It was there, though very minimal in comparison with others.

I don’t know, maybe it is because I’m married or for whatever reason, I just think that being a bridesmaid would be incredibly fun and that I’d be good at it. There is actually a ‘bride’s pledge’ circling the net where the bride basically pledges to not harass the bridesmaids, not make them wear ugly dresses, not make them cut their hair or get Botox (seriously, WTF? Who does that?), etc., etc. I think that’s all very reasonable but seriously, as cynical as a bridesmaid may be, the wedding day is really all about the bride [and groom]. So, I make my own bridesmaid pledge (if I am ever to become one). These are all things I learned from planning my own wedding, which was my first experience dealing with bridesmaids.

1) I will never complain about the dress, shoes, accessories, hairstyle, etc. that you choose for me. It is one day out of my life and I will wear anything you want. Just because I let my BMs pick their own accessories and dress style doesn’t mean you have to do that too.

2) I will never ask “are you doing [fill in the blank here] at your wedding?” That is a passive-aggressive insinuation that that is what you should be doing and you should do whatever you want.

3) I will offer my wedding planning expertise (well, maybe not expertise, per se, but I did plan a wedding!) only if asked.

4) I will NEVER use the word Bridezilla. It is the equivalent of calling the bride a bitch and it is absolutely unacceptable.

5) I will always offer to help. Whatever I can do, I will do.

6) I am available to run interference between you and whoever is bugging you: vendors, parents, in-laws, stepsiblings, other bridesmaids, etc. I will body check if necessary. I will take them down.

7) I will smile for pictures and never complain about how long they take.

8) I’m already married so I can’t steal your ideas for my own wedding! Bonus! But feel free to steal mine.

9) I will take pictures (or designate someone to take pictures) of all the things your photographer won't think of (centerpieces, placecards, buffet, tablescape, aisle decor) and upload them to flickr for you. I wish someone had done this for me!

10) Anything you feel that I need to add onto this list is negotiable!

And look how cute my BMs were! I don’t think I tortured them too much (at least I hope not). That adds to my BM street cred.

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